One early morning I found myself in the deep swells of a local beach with my stomach against a surfboard waiting for the perfect current to break. I soon found out that Ive drifted far beyond the currents propulsion point and begin looking for a sign of an active life to assure my security. I begin to forget my position and let go of everything I worried and everything I felt extracted from my comfort which somehow transposed to an awkward predisposition meditation. Thoughts flowed between the seams of the clouds in the sky and the veins of my socket, contemplating how perfect the structures of our bodies are able to correlate with the extent of movement. Using those aspects of anatomy, it portrays natures potential and its limitations. I begin to realize that this world we stand is more than a scientific development of existence but a divine force that synchronize nature and existence in perfect harmony which can cause an orthodox believer like myself to give into such ideas or even may lead to invalid claims. Saturday morning, summer of 2004 has revealed more truth to understanding myself, the nature of existentialism, and beliefs than can never be comprehend and meant to never be understood.
I let myself to into intangible thoughts that are useless communication mechanics but still jot them down; it shows what Im really thinking (being real) during my state-of-mind freely expressing my ideas and emotions into a recorded instrument I can refer. Whether if the subject is good or bad, the negativity and pessimistic ideas are filtered; I know there is more to just living life, letting go the past that has already been engraved in my skin, and giving up the errors that I fail to notice and have those errors corrected by an absolute being who can accommodate for my righteousness to become a better person, to adapt to society, to live to my potential, and to love others despite their image, disability, or their background. I try not to let my own intentions and emotions control my life, but have venerating words of divine virtues flow through me once I have my mind set, cautiously keeping my egocentric actions in consideration of others who will be offended, at time I will have to let myself go.
So dont de-humanize me with your religiousness, dont tell me what I need to do, just realize that our world is an adapted environment (doesnt necessarily mean you have to give into its hype) and people have interest and feelings they want to exploit rather than to be deprived of humanity, aesthetics and other things that are essential that makes up society and our beautiful diverse world.
These are my intuition to measure my idealistic lifestyle, there are no absolute but only the things I apply my faith to.